Default Habits

We all have default habits. Some are so ingrained that we don’t have to think about them. Others take a bit more thought and planning but we feel the lack when they are not part of our lives.

A default setting is the setting that automatically happens if no different choice is made. Your direct debits will go out by default each month unless you cancel them. Most likely the default font on your Word documents is Calibri, unless you have changed it otherwise. You may have a default time for leaving work or eating your evening meal.

We all have defaults, and those of us who prefer or need routine may have more defaults than others.

Some of our defaults we are blissfully unaware of until someone points them out, like the words or phrases that regularly trip of our tongues.

Swimming is a default for me. Not in the sense that I swim a set number of times and days each week, but in the sense that when I start my week one of my thoughts will be, ‘When can I swim this week?’ Friday morning is my most consistent default swimming time. When I can’t swim on a Friday I look for the nearest available slot before or after.

The local leisure centre was closed for a week or so over the holiday period. At first it was quite nice not to have to schedule in a swim and going back took some effort and determination but that first swim was SO good that it served as a reset.

Defaults can be changed, adapted, and sometimes stopped but hopefully a good default is something we return to.

It is very hard, near on impossible, to do something the same way every day or every time. Certainly, that is not how I function. I’m too easily distracted and too easily drawn away by a pressing need or a spontaneous invitation.

But I am wondering whether good habits that I want to establish in my life might have a better chance of succeeding if I think in terms of defaults. Habits which I begin to weave into my life, forming some sort of rhythm to work with, build on, return to and often flex a little, or a lot.

For some time, I have wanted to do a regular daily ‘examen’, an ancient spiritual practice that reflects with God back on the day and considers the moments that have been life giving and the moments that have been deadening, seeking to discern where and how God is at work in your life.

I have tried and failed many times to make this a daily habit. Discouraged by my inability to practice an examen everyday I have given up. But maybe if I think in terms of a default habit, one that I might only practice a couple of times a week, perhaps this might help.

I’ve also made a few tweaks to the habit that have helped.

The first is the use of a notebook. Writers on the examen often describe the person sitting in stillness and contemplation, letting the events of the day drift across their mind as they bring them before God. This hasn’t worked for me, I tend to either get distracted or begin to doze. A notebook has helped me stay focused and awake.

The other thing that has helped is to do the examen a bit earlier in the evening. On a quiet evening a nine thirty cuppa in bed with my notebook has worked. I have had to think through my evening a little more, plan a bit and have more realistic expectations of what I can do that evening (fewer chores, less work, less TV, but hopefully not less chatting). Or I have done it at the start of the evening to allow more time for connecting with friends or family.

The idea of a ‘default’, a habit to aim for, return to, even simply implement a few times a week, is proving helpful for me. Without a default I might easily give up. There will be evenings when I am out late, or I am drawn into a chat in the kitchen as I make my bedtime cuppa, or when I won’t resist the temptation of watching the ‘next episode of …’

But hopefully I won’t give up when the plan hasn’t been enacted for a few days, or even a week or two, but I will return to my default, just like I return to my regular swims after a break.

And so my aim is to develop the default habit of an end of day examen, something that begins to happen more often than not and becomes part of my way of being with God.

I wonder if there is a spiritual habit that you would like to have established in your life by the end of the year?

Are there things that might help you get started?
Perhaps you need a slight change to your routine?
Or perhaps incorporating the practice into an existing routine will work better.
Perhaps talking with someone else will give you some ideas of ways to adapt the habit so that it suits your personality or circumstances.

And rather than give up because you haven’t practiced the habit for a week or two, return to it, diarise it if that helps, experiment with it, tweak and flex it till it becomes part of your way of being with God.


Sarah Ducker